I will start by saying that I am an introvert, and I do not always enjoy large amounts of small talk. What I do enjoy is knowing someone really well and spending time with that person. When I first became a mom, I was lonely. I wanted to stay home with my son (and I’m very glad I did), but being at home with a baby can be hard since there’s no one else with whom to talk. My mom friends all went back to work after their maternity leave was finished. I also had a close friend that was single, so obviously she worked. I am, and was at the time, also very close to my sisters, mom, and mother-in-law. But I didn’t have any stay-at-home mom friends. Little did I know in the coming years that I would be up for starting a playgroup.
Nope, Not MOPS
Naturally, I joined a MOPS group. The people there were nice, but I never really made any friends. I didn’t return the following year. At church, I had tried doing some playdates with other moms, but they were either busy or their kids were older than mine. I spent a good year or two keeping to myself. Then covid hit…and I made a bunch of new mom friends. That’s probably not what you would expect, but let me explain.
Covid Lockdown
When covid came, everything shut down. My BSF study stopped, Sunday school for kids stopped, and story time at the library stopped. Then summer came and even the splash pads were closed! There was literally nowhere to go with kids, and it was over 100 degrees. My two boys had no one to play with, which didn’t bother them because they are introverts like me. They loved the lockdown, but I wanted them to have friends.
What I wanted was a mom at church who would be up for starting a playgroup by opening up her house once a week. If she could make banana bread, I thought that would be amazing. I prayed that someone would do that for me. However, no one did. I thought maybe I would have to be the person. I thought and prayed for about a month. By the end of a month, I was sure I should consider starting a playgroup. Here were my reasons.
- Stay-at-home moms with small kids have almost nothing to do with everything closed. Maybe they would be free to hang out with me? Previously, this had not been the case, but there were some new families at church.
- I have a great back yard, and some moms from my church lived in apartments. Kids can just run around while we all sit a talk.
- I’m good at keeping my house clean. It wouldn’t be stressful to have people over once a week.
- It would be good for my boys to play with other children.
- I like making banana bread
Starting a Playgroup
So, I decided to start a playgroup. One Sunday after church, I asked a mom if she would be interested in getting together once a week and starting a playgroup for our kids. She very quickly said yes. Her daughter loves playing with other kids. Then I bumped into another mom and asked her the same thing. She also said yes. I would also like to add that these were not complete strangers. I regularly talked with them at church and sometimes did get together, but it wasn’t on a regular basis.
After a week or two, I had a group of four other moms that wanted to come over. I would send a text message to everyone early in the week and invite them over, and they would respond. Sometimes I would plan an activity to do with the kids. At first, only one mom came for a few weeks, but then the other moms slowly began to come too. Before I knew it, I had a group of mom friends. I remember being confused why they all kept coming back each week. I usually have one or two friends – not four! At the beginning, we had seven kids total. By the end we had thirteen kids. I concluded that God was being kind and giving me friends.
There was once day when I sitting on the rug next to one of the moms. Our kids were all playing and she looked at me and said, “You know, these carefree playgroup days are only here for a short time.” She was right. I still get together with some of them, but it’s harder now that our kids are either homeschooled or going to school.
Last Thoughts
It was kind of scary to ask moms if they wanted to do a playgroup because I hadn’t had great success with playgroups prior to that. I didn’t enjoy them and I was actually terrible at talking with other moms. I have improved quite a bit….thank goodness.
What I liked about the mom group was that it encouraging to be with other moms. I know everyone needs encouragement, but stay-at-home moms are sometimes the last to get any because no one sees the hard work that goes into teaching and training children. It’s not like a career where there’s recognition for hard work. Even though I know the Lord sees everything I do, it’s still great to spend time with moms and build friendships that are encouraging. It makes motherhood even more special, and I know I will look back on good old days with fondness.
Has anyone else out there started a playgroup?
“I concluded that God was being kind and giving me friends.” – There’s something so sweet about this statement.
I love that you were able to create what you wanted/needed. It’s hard to be the one that initates but I’d say it’s the path with less regret than not. The people who are meant to come or join and the people that don’t – well, that’s perfectly fine too.
I agree! It’s hard to initiate, but it’s always worth it.