Homeschooling Young Children: Making Sacrifices

Some days it seems like the only time I get to sit down is when I read aloud to my children. Fortunately, most days aren’t like that. I normally sit down to eat, and I sit down to do a lesson. But there are those times when it feels like I am up and down helping someone every five seconds. It could be I am actually sitting down more than I realize I am. To some, I might sound like I am crazy. To others who are in my situation, homeschooling young children, I am sure you can understand why am I running from one thing to the next. 

Homeschooling is a wonderful thing to do, but it’s also a very hard job. And it’s also hard when all your children are young. They all need you for what seems like everything. While it can be a hard stage to be in, it’s also a really life-giving stage. It sounds like I am contradicting myself, but I’m not. Just keep reading. Whenever I am in a hard stage of life, I find that it’s good to stop and reflect. 

This past week I thought about how homeschooling young children means everyone in our family has moments when they have to make a sacrifice in order to care for someone else.

Making Sacrifices 

No one in our family has a schedule that is perfectly catered towards them. It’s hard having nap times, and also wanting to get out and do older kid things. Despite the difficulties with having a “large” family (four kids doesn’t seem large, but I have been told we have a lot of kids. People at Costco always tell that every time I go), I think it’s good for our family to make sacrifices and give up what we want for the sake of someone else. 

My boys can’t go out and do as many fun homeschool field trips or activities because their younger siblings need naps. I can’t stay at church very long and talk because my one-year old is exhausted and crying. Sometimes we end up leaving an event because someone is melting down. We often skip church potlucks because it’s someone else’s turn to be tired. In our case, having little children limits what we can do. 

Despite all that, we are not always heading home every time someone is tired. It’s not always the older kids that make sacrifices. Other times, my younger ones are stretched to stay awake longer than they would like because their brothers have a sports practice or a game. My husband will take the fussy baby with him so I can talk to people. There’s no hard rule about whose turn it is to give up something. Rather, it’s based on what’s going on in each circumstance.

Sacrifices Are Not in Vain

Philippians 2:4 says, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

This verse has been helpful for me because it reminds me that the sacrifices my kids have to make for each other does not make the day worse because the fun ended early. I don’t have to feel guilty if they miss out. After all, it’s good training for real life. They are learning how to adjust and place someone else’s needs before themselves. 

My boys did a field day with their co-op last fall. October is a tricky month because the weather can fluctuate. Sometimes it’s nice, and sometimes it’s still hot. It was hot that day. I couldn’t keep their baby brother out in close to 100+ weather for very long. I felt bad leaving early because they wanted to stay. They were disappointed, but it was also an opportunity for them to recognize that their baby brother has needs too. In this case, his needs were more important than theirs. Homeschooling young children is hard, and missing out on activities can be challenging, but there’s always fruit with hard situations

It’s harder to be patient, kind, and sacrificial with your family. Homeschooled siblings know each other so well. They know the most subtle ways to get under each other’s skin, but they get some of the best practice when they learn how to live peacefully with each other. My kids aren’t perfect. They have arguments for sure, but they are learning.

 When Sacrificing is Good For You

My kids make sacrifices, but what about me? I give my energy and love to my children all day long. Sometimes I am worn out, but I found that when I give up my desires, such as reading in peace in quiet or having a uninterrupted conversation, and focus on caring well for my children, I am happier. There’s joy that comes from knowing I am doing a good job caring for my kids. While sacrificing what I want to do can be hard, it can also be the best thing for me because it deepens my love for my children and it makes depend on God more rather than being satisfied with getting what I think I need.

One thing that has helped me have a better perspective on giving up my will, especially in the context of homeschooling young children, is to figure out what I lack (joy, patience, peace….) and then ask God for that. While that sounds very simple, it has been helpful because He does answer me. I am not a naturally patient person, but God has made me more patient. I regularly pray for patience and joy in parenting.  Slowly, over time as I continue to homeschool all young children, I have become less dependent upon time alone and can tolerate more noise and mess.

On a side note, I am someone who needs alone time, so I get the genuine need for it. I sometimes hide away and read for five minutes until someone finds me. Those five minutes can help! I am also someone who needs to talk to a friend. It’s hard for me to go days without talking to another woman. I call my sisters and mom get some good conversation time. I also see my mother-in-law frequently.

Last Thoughts

Being a mom and sacrificing my desires doesn’t mean that I never do an anything I want or enjoy. It means that those moments might be shorter, but also the things that bring me joy also change over time. It’s fun to hang out with friends, but I really like to be with my family. Also, it’s rewarding to watch my kids grow in flexibility and resiliency as they also learn to sacrifice their desires in order to care for each other.

I didn’t realize this until I had kids, but motherhood is one of the many means of sanctification. Homeschooling all young children is also another means of sanctification.

Be sure to read my post about homeschooling young children and messes.

Carly from DesertHomeschoolDay.com