How to Pretend It’s Fall (When You Live Somewhere Warm)
Once October rolls in, and it’s still in the upper 90s, it’s not uncommon for people to start dressing like it’s fall here in Arizona. They say they are, “trying to bring fall.” Over the years, I have gotten better at figuring out how to pretend it’s fall. Some things work well, and some, like wearing a sweater in 90 degrees, do not. Want some ideas for how to pretend it’s fall? Keep reading to hear my suggestions. Purchase Fall Colored T-Shirts One fun way to pretend it’s fall is to buy fall clothes, but not sweaters and sweatshirts. I have some t-shirts that are burgundy and dark green, and really only wear them in the fall. Purchasing clothing that fits the environment, such as t-shirts, but are in a more fall-ish color scheme can make you feel like it’s a new season. Yes, I would love to wear sweaters in the fall here in Arizona, but then the result is that I am uncomfortable. It’s also kind of hot for pants, but capris work well. Plus, they have a fall-ish look to them and they make you feel like it’s a different season because you’re not wearing shorts. Pair it with a light-weight cardigan and you will feel like it’s almost fall. Go Up North and Do a Fall Activity Every year we go up north for a hike with our kids. The nice part about living in Arizona is that if you want cooler weather, its only two hours away. This year we went apple picking at Slide Rock State Park in Sedona. I was kind of warm, but since apple picking season in other states is in September, I was okay with being a little warm. We got there early when it was cool, and I took a bunch of pictures of my family picking apples while they wore jackets. Those pictures will look more like fall pictures simply because we had jackets on. Every year I make a family calendar picture for my family, and pictures like these do make me happy because I can include them in the fall months. It warmed up and everyone took their jackets off. If you go hiking in October, you can see fall leaves. I find that all the work of driving up north is worth it for my kids. Since we read lots of seasonal books, I want them to have a chance to see fall. Wake Up Early and Go on a Walk In Phoenix, the highs can still be rather warm, but the mornings are nice and cool. I enjoy waking up before my kids and going for a brisk walk. There’s something about being in cooler temperature, even if it’s for a few minutes, that sets the tone for the day. It’s refreshing and it gives you a little bit of that fall chill. Bake and Cook Fall Foods If it doesn’t feel like fall, then make it smell like fall. I like making applesauce in crockpot. It fills the whole house with the smell of cinnamon. Apple cookies and pumpkin bread are also a favorite of ours. Of course, and apple pie with homemade ice cream is amazing! Another favorite is soup simmering in the crockpot all day. It adds warmth and creates a cozy feeling, which is what everyone wants in the fall. Take Pictures of Your Kids Near Deciduous Trees What a lot of people don’t know is that some trees in Arizona, even in Phoenix, do lose their leaves in the late fall or early winter. Our neighbors have a tree that drops yellow leaves every fall. I’m not sure what kind of tree it is. What I do some years is while we are taking a walk, I take a bunch of pictures as they ride their bikes or scooters through the leaves. We also take some of the leaves home, excited to have a little bit of fall in the Sonoran Desert. Another suggestion is to visit an arboretum at peak leaf season and take a bunch of pictures there. Of course, you should send them to everyone you know who lives somewhere cold and let them know that it’s a beautiful fall day. Decorate I know this is an obvious point, but it’s also very helpful – decorate your house. This will help you pretend it’s fall because there will be a noticeable difference in your home. My kids love getting out the fall décor and helping me decorate. We have a fall wreath, fake pumpkins (real pumpkins rot after a few days if they are outside in the heat), and a fall garland. I am not a fan of scented fall candles because the smell is so strong. So, I don’t use those a much. Read Fall Picture Books with Your Children Another great way to make it feel like fall is to borrow seasonal books from the library. This year I found a canvas bin I wasn’t using, and I put all my apple and leaf books in it. It was been fun grabbing a fall themed book to read with my kids. No, our backyard looks nothing like fall yet, but it’s still fun to celebrate the small changes – the shorter days, the cooler temperatures, the few trees that do lose their leaves. Our pomegranate bush loses its leaves. It’s not super exciting to some, but we take note of the changes and relate it back to the books we read. Below are some of our favorite fall picture books for September. Be Content I saved the best for last. I really miss fall. I grew up raking leaves and jumping into leaf piles. I wore jackets in October because it was chilly. Walking around outside was also fun because the leaves on the ground crunched. Some paths I walked were lined with trees. It was like strolling through an archway of gold, yellow, red, orange, and brown. The air smelled cool and
Raising Kids Who Love Learning
Everyone wants their children to love learning, but the question is how do you do that. I don’t have all the answers, but I do have children who enjoy learning. Creating a home culture where books are cherished and where life is slow enough to have time to read and be read to takes intention and effort. Teachers can inspire their students to love learning, but I really think the responsibility of passing down a love for knowledge, creative thinking, and reading belongs to the parents. Raising kids who love learning means intentionally making an effort to create a home environment that encourages learning. It’s one of my favorite parts of homeschoolings and being a mom. Reading Aloud If you really want your kids to love learning, then I would recommend making time to read aloud each day. Even older children benefit from being read aloud to. The reason why I think reading aloud helps kids who love learning is because reading books with interesting characters sparks good conversation. When you have something you and your child are excited to talk about, it bonds the child to the parent. They share the same experience of knowing and relating to the character in the book. Since reading a book aloud, especially a chapter book, can take more time than a movie, there’s a longer span of time to think about the book together. It’s easy to forget about a movie, but it’s harder to forget about a really good book you read with your kids. My kids and I like to quote parts of books when it matches the occasion. No one else around us is aware that we are quoting a book, so it becomes an inside joke. There’s plenty of evidence that reading aloud makes children better readers. People who enjoy reading are usually people who enjoy learning. I have found that reading aloud to my kids makes them more curious about the world, which then leads them to want to read more. Go to the Library Reading aloud leads me to my next point, which is take your kids to the library. I am careful about what books my kids pick out, but I still give them the chance browse, choose a book, and then show it to me. I have two older boys who like nonfiction. Fortunately, nonfiction tends to have less content that I disapprove of, One time I brought my kids to the mystery section so I could find an Agatha Christy book. Usually, I don’t bother to find a book for myself in the library (although I do request books for myself). Hunting for a book for myself surprised my kids. I am usually busy enough keeping everyone quiet and find books for them, but it showed my kids that I like reading. That’s an important message to tell your kids. It’s hard to raise children with the expectation that they will like reading and learning if mom or dad don’t like it, or make time for it. Going to the library with four small kids is not always easy, but if it means we read more and enjoy more books, then it’s worth all the effort. Let Your Child Be My two boys like chess. I have this thought of signing them up for a chess club, which would also have competitions. Initially, this sounded like a great idea. But then I changed my mind when I thought about taking a game my kids find fun and interesting, and signing them up for classes, and driving them to perhaps stressful competitions. They never even asked to be signed up for a class, and here I am thinking of ways to make my family busier and more stressed. Just let them love chess, I thought. Don’t ruin it for them. Not every hobby or interest warrants a club. My point is that when a child shows an interest, it’s okay to let that interest slowly grow. Sometimes classes, clubs, and competitions can kill an interest or hobby. Instead, follow their lead and let them enjoy their hobbies and their learning. Be Interested in What Your Child Likes Another point to mention about raising kids who love learning is that showing an interest in their ideas goes a long way. One of my kids loves weather. I am often pulled outside to see a stratus cloud or a cumulonimbus cloud. While I may sometimes feel too busy to go and look, it’s important to show excitement for their interests. That said, I get to look at clouds a lot. Most of us know what it’s like to find someone who is also interested in the same things we are. Don’t they make you even more interested and eager to continue learning? I think the it’s the same for kids. I might not have to be super interested at first, but seeing my child be interested in clouds makes me more interested in them as well. Sometimes love for learning is contagious! Plus, it’s also super cool to see interests grow and develop. It works the other way around. I can be very excited about something, and that gets my kids excited and interested as well. Put Your Phone Down One way you can show interest in what your child loves is to put your phone down. Why waste your time scrolling when you could invest in your child and talk to them? You don’t get much of a reward for scrolling on your mom. Spending too much time on your phone can cause irritability and mental overload. As basic as it is, having a conversation with another person without the distraction of a phone is becoming uncommon. By putting the phone down, you show your children what life is really suppose to be like. Slow down and look them in the eye and actively listen. I don’t know any parents who tell me that they really want their child to be addicted to their cell phone
Inviting Others into Your Home: How It Helps Homeschooled Introverts
Before I wrote this blog post, I googled “how to help introverted children come out of their shell.” There were some helpful posts, but most were rather vague and not very insightful. I like writing about introverts because homeschooling introverted children is not always the easiest task to do since people like to link an introverted personality as the result of being homeschooled. Over the years, I have tried many things to help my introverted children be comfortable with themselves and come out of their shells. Hospitality I will start with what I found to be the most impactful, which is inviting people over to my house. Over the years, we have had lots of friends and family come over for birthday parties, playdates, or for dinner. Having people over to my house helps my introverted children feel more comfortable around different kinds of people. For an introvert, home is where they feel the most at ease. I find that they converse more easily and play well with other children. These days, it’s normal for friends to come over for dinner maybe once or twice a month, sometimes more depending on whether we are not sick. I like to keep it a regular habit because I want my kids to be used to welcoming people over. It gives them an opportunity to talk to other adults and play with other children. We tend to invite the same people over frequently 1) because we like them and 2) because it gives my children an opportunity to build friendships. We do playdates almost on a weekly basis, and that has been vey helpful for building friendships with lots of one-on-one time. The Hard Work of Hospitality One aspect of homeschooling small, introverted children is that the parents may have to work harder at providing opportunities for friendships for their children. That means maybe mom reaches out to another mom to invite her and her children over. Maybe dad invites a family over for dinner. Since large group events are unlikely places for young, quiet children to make friends, taking the extra step to make arrangements for one-on-one playdates or inviting only one person or one family over for dinner can make a difference over a number of years. I do all of this because I know it’s good for my children, and I want them to have those long-lasting friendships. Yes, it’s hard work to be hospitable. Having a weekly cleaning routine and a nightly cleaning routine helps a lot so that I don’t suddenly feel a ton of pressure to have the house cleaned up and a meal made. The house doesn’t have to be spotless, but rather welcoming and inviting. Even though it’s hard, the friendships are always worth the hard work that goes into inviting someone over. When my kids enjoy playing with other children, that’s fruit from being consistent with welcoming people into our home. Of course, I also benefit because I build strong friendships with other moms! Patience Waiting is another thing to do. Some kids just take a long time to come out of their shells, and often times that happens with homeschooled introverts. I was one of them, but I did come out of my shell. Maybe I would have come out of my shell sooner if I had gone to school, but I am close to my family because of all the time I spent with them. I wouldn’t change that at all. I have seen one of my kids slowly feel more comfortable in bigger groups. This has taken a long time, but that’s realistic when I stop and think about how he’s shy and he’s homeschooled. It’s something people can look down on, the shy homeschooled kid, but there’s no reason to do that. Everyone grows and changes at their own speed. I had a few years when I was young (maybe age 8-12) where I had two friends. That’s it, and I was happy. I made more friends when I was around fourteen or fifteen. I say this to show that sometimes quiet kids are happy with a small world. One or two friends, plus a strong connection with their immediate family, will be enough for them during those younger years. As I grew up, having friends became more important, and friendships happened naturally. All to say is be patient with young, homeschooled introverts. They may surprise you a few years down the road. Be Realistic When I say “come out of your shell” I don’t mean expect a shy child to turn a switch and be friendly one day, but rather slowly see the child become more comfortable with him or herself. I want my children to feel comfortable asking questions in a group setting, but I also want them to just be them. They don’t have to be popular or be the center of attention. Final Thoughts Creating a home where we can welcome people helps grow introverted children into the best version of themselves. It takes time, practice, and patience. I am encouraged by the Galatians 6:9 – And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. I can see fruit from consistently inviting people over to my house, but it came from years of not giving up. Like reading about homeschooled introverts? Read about starting a playgroup and why homeschooling is great for introverts. Carly from DesertHomeschoolDays.com
Traveling with a One-Year-Old
This summer we boarded an airplane to see my side of the family. My oldest boys are fine on a plane. It’s even nice to say that my four-year-old daughter is much better on the plane than she was a year ago. They keep themselves busy with books, snacks, stick-by-number, and movies. It’s the wiggly one-year-old that’s difficult. One flight was challenging, and one flight was smooth. I find that even if I am well-planned, a flight can be great or not so great. There are so many variables that are outside of their organized backpack. Despite all of that, here are some tips for traveling with a one-year old. Bring a Stroller and/or Wear Your Baby We have an old beat-up sit-and-stand stroller that we got from a family at church years ago. It’s been my favorite stroller by far because it’s already kind of worn out, so a few more dents doesn’t seem so bad. What I like about it is that we can dump a bunch of backpacks and lunch bags in the front and along the sides, and have my daughter ride in the back. Meanwhile, I wear the baby. Then we toss the stroller through security conveyor belt, check it at the gate, and then someone drags it onto the airplane below. You can tell this stroller has been through a lot, but it still holds up! I should have taken a picture of our pack mule stroller, but I didn’t think to do that. Our doesn’t look nearly as nice as this one does. When I am one the airplane, I store the carrier in the luggage compartment and then throw it in the washer after our trip. Questions to Ask Each child is different and likes different things. I found it helpful to ask myself, “What does my child like to do?” Mine likes to get into the marker bin. He also likes throwing balls. Someone else’s list of things to pack for an airplane ride with a one-year old might look different for each child. What I packed I didn’t spend any money on him. I just found stuff around the house and threw it into a ziplock bag. When I looked on other blogs, they suggested a bunch of toys. That’s great, but it’s also more money to spend. The spice contains was one idea I found a blog somewhere that I thought looked promising. What My Old-Year Old Liked He loved the toy balls with the cup. I would toss the ball into the cup, then turn the cup over and let the ball fall out. Oh, did he like that. To keep him busy, I also stuffed the ball down his shirt. That confused him! He also really liked the spice container toy. He liked to shake it and close the lid. Snacks & Lunch Traveling with a one-year-old means that snacks aren’t only for nourishment on an airplane. They are really just to keep kids, or babies in this case, busy. I packed rice cakes, animal crackers, Kix cereal, some fruit and vegetables, and a lunch. We never buy lunch in an airport for our kids. It’s because one time we purchased a ten-dollar sandwich in LAX, which my son later refused to eat. They just want to eat their normal lunch. Their backpacks and lunch bags count as their two carry-ons. The Airplane Seat My son found great fun in putting the tray down and up. He also liked the pamphlets stored in the top part of the seat in front of us. Staring and smiling at people behind us was also fun. We were fortunate on both flights to have kind and gracious people sitting next to us who didn’t seem to mind my son a great deal. The Tired Baby My son can stay awake for about three to four hours at a time. That means that any plane ride will most likely also mean nap time. It’s amazing what happens when you remove routines and naptimes – you get a very loud, unhappy baby! I have had plenty of babies cry on airplanes. Some people get it, and some people don’t get it. It’s best to ignore rude comments when traveling with babies. As the mom, I know how my son acts when he’s rested, and I know how he acts when he has his crib taken away and he’s asked to sleep on an airplane. He did eventually fall asleep, but it took some crying before that happened. Last Thoughts I like traveling with my kids, but it is hard. There’s nothing easy about traveling with a one-year-old – leaving their familiar home and hoping they behave well without having enough naps. I say it’s a good trip as long as you make it your destination. I know it’s hard to have a baby crying in an enclosed place like an airplane, but it happens all the time. Ironically, during one of our tough flights, I found out there was another baby on the plane just a few rows ahead of us. She was very quiet the whole time. Every baby is different, right? Carly from DesertHomeschoolDays.com
Are Stay-at-Home Moms Lazy and Unambitious?
Lots of moms have felt a stigma of being a stay-at-home mom. After all, staying home and taking care of kids is not what the majority of moms do in 2025. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, in 2024, 74% of moms with children under 18 worked. Being a stay-at-home mom is in the minority, and with it comes a number of interesting views and opinions. Some I agree with, and some I don’t. There are a lot of things that people assume about stay-at-home moms that quite frankly aren’t true. One assumption I am writing about today is whether stay-at-home moms are lazy and unambitious. Lazy People are Everywhere First of all, it’s not always fair to make a generalization like stay-at-home moms are lazy. There are lazy stay-at-home moms just like there are lazy dads, lazy working moms, and lazy students. Lazy people who avoid hard work is not uncommon. However, there are hard-working SAHMs, hardworking dads, hard-working moms who work outside the home, and hard-working students. I have met lazy SAHMs, and I have met industrious SAHMs. It just depends on the person’s individual character traits. What Does Lazy Mean? Lazy means not doing the work you need to be doing. However, in the case of SAHMs, it often means they are lazy in the sense that they are not earning money. Yes, SAHMs work a lot at home caring for kids, making meals, and cleaning the house all without pay, encouragement, and recognition, but it’s not a real job in many people’s eyes. I think this goes along with how more and more people view children as burdensome and annoying. So no, stay-at-home moms are generally not lazy. However, the way people define what being productive means, making money, can make people assume that SAHMs are wasting their time caring for their children, especially when a professional can care for them and give mom a break. It’s fine to work in a daycare or a preschool and be paid, but it’s look-down upon to stay home unpaid and care for your own children. It’s a messed up understanding of work. SAHM’s Work is Valuable Many people do not value the work that SAHM do. A few years ago, when I had just my two oldest children, I had a small part-time writing job. I shared this information about my new job to someone. His response surprised me. He said, “The job gives you something to do now.” As if I have nothing to do with a four-year old and a two-year old….absolutely nothing! My house was always clean, my kids fed themselves and brushed their own teeth, and there were no temper tantrums. None. What he said shows that he thinks caring for kids is not real work, but a writing job is real work. Now that’s something to do! Honestly, any writing I do happens after my kids go to bed. I gave up free time to work after a full day of caring for two boys and pregnant with a third. Would you say that to someone who took on a night job after working a full-time job all day? Finally, you have something to do! That person is now really working! No, you wouldn’t. Unfortunately, this sentiment of SAHM not contributing is present everywhere. A stay-at-home mom’s work is valuable even if it’s not paid. Could anyone pay me to open my arms and have my one-year old toddle into my arms with his drooly face twenty times a day? No. The bonding that goes on between the mother and child or children impacts the whole family. Also, the work that goes into making the home a home makes your family want be at home together. None of that is a waste, but it does reflect a different set of values than most people. SAHMs are Ambitious in Other Ways The world is an interesting place because women are now told that in order have value, we need to be pursuing careers (Yes, I am aware many moms have careers because it’s a financial need. I am not ignoring that at all). I may not seem ambitious to some, but I will point out that managing a home, homeschooling, making healthy meals, and everything else moms do (and doing it all well) does require a smart mom. The amount of organization and multitasking that goes on during the course of a day is no small joke. A stay-at-home mom grows in patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control on a daily basis because honestly, being around children all day is hard (but it’s also super fun). Even though I am not climbing through a career ladder, I am becoming better at being a mom to the kids God has given me. I did have a career as an elementary teacher before I had kids, and while it was meaningful and I enjoyed it, it was also very demanding and stressful. I could have kept working and spent most of my paycheck for daycare, but I didn’t want to do that. Just because I chose not to work in that capacity, doesn’t mean my IQ dropped way down and I suddenly became stupid and unambitious. My opinion is that being a stay-at-home mom requires skills just like any other job does, but since poop and bottom wiping is often involved, it gets a bad rap and is considered a lower-level “job.” If people thought children were a blessing to families, and not a burden, then I don’t think people would consider SAHM as wasting their time raising a family. I think SAHMs are ambitious in one sense because they are bold enough to go against the grain of society. The Impact of a SAHM Because my mom stayed home with me, I have a lot of memories of spending time with her. When I was older, I felt comfortable asking serious questions and sharing thoughts. I still call her many times during the week to share
How to Survive a Summer in Arizona with Your Kids
Summer is my least favorite season here in Arizona. We normally have a few heat waves where the temperatures go above 112. 108 and 109 are fine, but it’s when you get close to 115 that you feel like dying as you walk from your car into a store. So how do you survive a summer in Arizona with your kids? And how do you do it without spending a ton of money? That’s the part that always bothers me: if I want to go somewhere, I am going to spend a bunch of money because you can’t do free things outside (except splash pads). Here’s my list of activities that have helped me over the years. Do School I think I will start with the most obvious activity to do – school. My kids have been asking for a break because they figured out that their friends and cousins get a summer vacation. I knew that day would come! We are currently doing math, reading, nature study, and Spanish (duolingo). My goal is to keep things simple, but yet have a small amount of rhythm to the day. When fall comes, we will add more subjects. It’s also kind of nice to have a shorter school day since everything seems rather choppy – VBS, trips up north, family reunions. It’s also fun to do crafty school-related projects. Those can be hard to fit in in the course or a normally busy week, but the summer is perfect for doing something a little more fun. Be a Library Tourist Another favorite way to survive a summer in Arizona with my kids is to be a library tourist. Everyone tells you to go to the library in the summer, but have you considered making an effort to drive a bit farther away to visit a new library, especially if it’s a bit bigger than the usual one you go to? A few summers ago, we visited all the libraries in one town nearby and most of the ones in our area. We are doing it again this summer, but this time we are venturing out a bit further. My book-loving kids love this! Best of all, it’s free. Going to free library events and doing a library reading program are also a great ideas. Invest in Audiobooks Summer is the time of year we spend a bit more on audiobooks. We use Hoopla, audible, and yoto player cards (Hoopla is available through your local library). We enjoy listening to audiobooks while we do something else like eat lunch or work on a puzzle. Since we spend more time outside in the winter and spring, getting new audiobooks is a special treat. It’s also kind of nice to have things to associate with a hot summer – audiobooks, puzzles, etc… Invite Friends Over This is my favorite way to survive a summer in Arizona with my kids! It’s also free. I don’t like the idea that parents need to spending a bunch of money to entertain kids and keep them busy. They have plenty of fun just playing at a friend’s house. Things we have done are invite friends to go swim in the pool, share a dessert, or just let them run wild in the house. Sometimes we invite friends over for dinner, especially with kids. Teach Kids How to Bake and Cook Last summer we baked cookies every week, and then we went to the dentist. It was not a good visit. I don’t want a repeat, so this summer I am switching to having my kids help me with making healthy snacks and breakfast food (I triple recipes and freeze everything). Foods that they enjoy making are energy balls, waffles, muffins, and scones. We will make cookies too, but a bit less this year. A personal confession is that I find it stressful for my kids to “help” me in the kitchen. The mess is awful! But I also know that my kids really enjoy baking and cooking. Even though the mess stresses me out, they learn useful skills such as cutting with a knife, using measuring cups and measuring spoons, and how to hold a bowl still and mix. I have to tell myself it’s the right thing to do (and fun), but it’s also the messy thing to do. However, when it’s hot outside, it’s not a bad option. Go Swimming This is an obvious thing to do since many homes in Arizona have pools. It’s hard to find a house that doesn’t have a pool. Making pool time a routine part of the day has helped me a lot. It gives the kids a chance to exercise and feel cool. We swim after dinner so we don’t have to bother with sunscreen (another money saving tip!). Of course, splash pads are another fun option. Watch Documentaries This one is a new thing I am adding to my mental list of things to do. I limit screen time, but if there’s a crazy day, then I might choose to turn on an educational documentary. We have watched a few on Disney. My boys like weather, and we watched part of Gathering Storm. Have Breakfast Outside Having breakfast outside is good for everyone. However, it does take some effort (because you have to bring the food outside). What I like about eating outside is that afterwards my kids run around and play a little bit before the heat takes over. Even 30 minutes of running around in the grass can make the day feel better. Final Thoughts The summers are rough. If I ever write a book, it might called The Long Summer. I would try to mimic Laura Ingalls Wilder’s style and make my summer seem dreadful and horrid. Not really. Our lives today are so much easier than they were in the 1800s with trains being blocked by snow. Maybe you think a summer indoors with your kids is hard, but I hope some of my ideas
Should Moms Wake Up Before the Kids?
I love peace and quiet, but what if you are like me and have a lot of kids? How do you get that peace and quiet? The mornings are my favorite part of the day because I am rested and the house is peaceful. No one is awake. Sometimes the best way to get this peace and quiet is to wake up before my kids. This brings up a question that moms can disagree about: Should moms wake up before the kids? During the winter, my kids sleep more. My oldest son would wake up around 6:00 and read quietly in the study (that’s our library/sitting room) while I nurse his baby brother and read my Bible. Afterwards, the baby would crawl around and plays with toys. This worked well until everyone started waking up at 6:00 am due to the sun rising earlier. It just wasn’t as quiet as it was before. Last week, they were all up at 6:00 asking me question after question. Soon arguments arose as to who would sit on my left side as I read my Bible. To my right is a little table for my coffee. I must have my coffee close by me. The left side is the only side available. Soon, the tears begin. Not mine. My kids. Everyone wanted to sit next to me. The baby also needed a diaper change. Let’s just say I could not read much. I quickly realized that I might want to try waking up earlier. So, should moms wake up before the kids? I have actually seen people get heated over this position. It’s kind of silly, really. I don’t have a strong opinion about the matter, except that it works really well for me, and when I find what works, then I do it. Now that the mornings are beginning earlier, I set my alarm clock for 5 am, which is what I did last summer. Here are some of the benefits of getting up before my kids. I Am Happier I enjoy waking up before my kids. Most days, I exercise and then read my Bible. Once my kids start waking up, I am able to pay attention to them instead of being frustrated that I can’t read a sentence without being asked a question. I get breakfast going earlier and then we start school sooner. Overall, everyone seems happier when I am prepared and ready to care for them. I Know What I Need Since my kids are all small and still require a good deal of attention, lots of time is spent helping and teaching them tasks. All of that requires patience. I know myself. What is helpful is to know what I need – alone time to exercise, read, and pray – and to prioritize that. Having that time in the morning helps to grow in my faith which means I can share and apply what I learn during the day. The hard part is getting to bed early. Even though getting up early requires discipline, part of the discipline comes at night when I need to make sure I stop what I am doing and go to bed. Sometimes it’s hard to do. So should moms get up before the kids even if it’s hard? If you’re like me and need some time alone, then yes, give it a try. I am Refreshed and More Patient It’s overwhelming to wake up to a bunch of children asking questions. What is better for me is to wake up to a quiet house and spend some time by myself doing something that is worthwhile. The days I go for a run or do a 15 minute workout from YouTube (I am currently using videos made by FitbyMik), I have more energy and feel refreshed. I know lots of families look forward to being more relaxed in the summer and enjoying time outside. Well, I always dread the summer here in Arizona. I find that I need to spend time praying for patience because it’s hard when we can’t go outside as often. I would take messy backyard strewn with toys over a house covered with toys. The mess stresses me out, but it’s also good opportunity to practice being patient when my surroundings are less organized and tidy as I would like. I Am More Productive This is probably my best reason why I like to get the day going early is because I am more productive, and so are my kids. We can start school around 8 or so and finish by 10:30. That feels so much than starting at 9:30 and ending at 12:00. By getting up an hour before them, I feel like I get two extra hours with them. My hour in the morning is spent well, which allows me to do things faster than I would if the kids were awake. That gives me more time to care for them instead of myself. Last Thoughts Should moms get up before the kids? Getting up early works for me, but I know some people who would rather have a slow morning. I have met some people that seem to make it a law that moms should wake up before their kids. I think it’s a great idea because it helps me be a better mom, but everyone has a different style. Moms can also wake up when their kids wake up too. What’s more important is find what works for you. It’s important for moms to be reading their Bibles and having time to pray, but it’s just a matter of what time of day that works best. When I wasn’t homeschooling, I didn’t feel as much of an urge to be efficient with my time. The days were slow and enjoyable. They still are enjoyable, but there’s a lot more to accomplish each day. A mom who gets up before the kids is one way of using time wisely. I think it’s also helpful to acknowledge that resting and
Homeschooling Young Children: A Four-Day Homeschool Schedule
Homeschooling young children can at first seem daunting. Thankfully, even though homeschooling can appear to be a lot of work, it hasn’t seemed like that much work to me. Maybe it’s because I like school, but another reason why is because we do a four-day homeschool schedule with only a small bit of work on Friday. For me, doing a four-day homeschool schedule has been very helpful when homeschooling young children. Currently, our schedule, which by the way is always changing, currently looks like this: Monday School in the morning Co-op in the afternoon Tuesday School in the morning Play, relax, and do chores in the afternoon Wednesday Grandma babysits School in the afternoon. Church in the evening. Thursday School in the morning Clean the house in the afternoon Friday One hour or so of school. Go somewhere fun/educational or see friends. Play, relax, and do chores in the afternoon. Piano lessons at home. A four-day homeschool schedule is great for families homeschooling young children because… The Younger Kids Need It When my boys were little, I frequently took them to the zoo, the park, and the library. Now I stay home a lot due to homeschooling, but I still want my younger ones to have those same experiences. I reserve Fridays as our day do something different. Sometimes we go to a park or the library. Other times we invite friends over to play. Occasionally, we might do errands. Fridays are the day when I make sure I am ready the night before so that it isn’t a circus trying to get everyone ready. We need routines and rhythms to our days because most people find them helpful. My kids do, but there’s also a need to just get out. Part of being a kid is having time to play at the park, running errands with mom, picking out books from the library, and seeing friends. My younger ones both nap in the morning and the afternoon. That certainly makes getting out more difficult, but having a shorter nap one day a week (actually two days because church also cuts a nap out) is at this point doable. Usually, the baby takes a longer nap in the afternoon when he’s extra tired. My Older Kids Need It What I like about going to parks in Phoenix is that they usually have better trees to climb. We have small trees in our backyard that we planted a few years ago. Our trees are not ready to be climbed. Taking a day off from school gives my boys the chance to climb and take risks. Also, a lot of our nature study observation sometimes happens at parks. We see birds we learned about, and we hunt for nests. More importantly, it gives my shy kids a chance to play one-on-one with another child or children. I Need It I think I like to go to the park more than my kids. It’s because I want to talk to another mom. Having a four-day schedule is beneficial for mom too, especially if she hasn’t seen anyone for a super long time. Since I am the one in charge of homeschooling my crew, I don’t want to burn out. I have seen homeschool moms who are burnt out – tired, crabby, hates the sight of a textbook, dreams of summer. Maybe that will be me someday, but I really would like to avoid it. Although, I could never find myself dreaming of summer in Phoenix. A lot of emphasis on homeschooling is making sure the children are getting the proper education they need. That makes sense, and it’s right to focus on that. However, the mom needs to be considered too. When my kids are older, I will switch to a five-day week. For now, they are all young and need a lot of attention. That means I need time to rest from all the good work that I do. Others Need It Giving up a day of school benefits my family, but I also think it can benefit those with whom I get together. It benefits other moms because we can encourage one another. After spending time with another mom, I can usually find something I know they would like prayer for. Sometimes it’s awkward to ask How can I pray for you? It’s not a bad question. It’s a perfectly good question to ask another mom, but it can also come about naturally in the midst of a good conversation. I can learn how to better pray for a particular friend after spending time with her. Speaking of praying for others, I have found it really helpful to write down peoples’ names. I have a list of my family, friends, and people from church. I pray for different people, or groups of people, each day. It helps me remember to pray for them. Have you ever told someone you would pray for them, but then you ummm…forgot? I have. My list keeps me from doing that. Year-Round Schooling I do year-round schooling, which is why I don’t have any problem with doing a four-day homeschool schedule. Sometimes we take a week off here and there, but for the most part, I don’t usually feel like I am dying for a break. I think that means this four-day homeschool schedule thing is working for me. Final Thoughts Initially, I decided to keep Friday mornings open because I wanted my kids to get out and play with friends, but I also really like that my conversations with other moms have been encouraging. What first started out as a desire to give myself rest from the daily work I do, ended up showing me that friendships for myself and for my kids are even more refreshing than simply relaxing. It takes work to build a friendship. For related blog posts read Being a Good Friend When You’re a Busy and Starting a Playdate. Carly from DesertHomeschoolDays
Homeschooling Young Children – Accepting Messes
Have you ever met someone who instantly liked? I certainly have. How about a character in a book? Or what about a picture book? One of my kids read The Seven Silly Eaters by Mary Ann Hoberman aloud to me for his reading time, and I instantly loved the mom, Mrs. Peters. The book is about a family with seven kids who all insist on eating one particular food all the time, and it must be homemade. The book doesn’t say whether the family homeschools, but they sure look like homeschoolers to me – messy house, seven kids, and they live out in the middle of nowhere. Whatever their schooling choice is, it reminded me of homeschooling young children and all the messes that it brings. Accepting a Messy House When I had my first baby, my house was always clean. Always. These days….ummm…I really try my best. We clean the house once a week – vacuum, dust, mop, organize misplaced things, but it still looks messy to some degree most of the time. We also pick up at the end of the day, but by 8:30 am the next morning, it’s a mess again. In the book The Seven Silly Eaters, the house is a mess on almost every single page. The only page where it isn’t a mess is when they have their first child. As more children are added to the family, the house gets messier. For some reason the messy house made me like the Peter’s family even more because you could tell that they lived there. There’s life in their small home with their seven children, and you can tell by all the toys that are on the floor, the mess from baking, and the piles of laundry. Often times, I think my house shouldn’t be a mess. However, the reality is that a family that spends a large portion of the day at their house will inevitably have a messy, or lived-in, home. I’m not saying toss out the cleaning routines and begin living as a hoarder. What I am saying is that it’s good to relax a little bit when it comes to having a clean house, especially if you’re homeschooling young children. Otherwise, I find it hard to enjoy my time with my children. Some people don’t see messes, or the messes simply don’t bother them, so nothing really gets cleaned up. I am the opposite. I see every mess. There’s something inside of me that compels me to clean it up. In fact, it seems wrong to not clean up a mess. That leads me to my next point. Relaxing in The Mess In the beginning of the book, Mrs. Peters is playing her cello, something she clearly enjoys doing. Later on, Mrs. Peters is playing her cello right beside a basket of laundry. If I had to take a lesson from Mrs. Peters, it’s to do something enjoyable even if the area around me is messy and slightly chaotic. I have to discipline myself to leave the mess alone and do something like read a book or write for a few minutes. Otherwise, I never get around to doing to reading because I am tried by the end of the day. Moms do a lot for their kids – working moms and moms homeschooling young children. I said earlier that it seems wrong to leave a mess alone. I would also argue that it seems wrong to never do anything that is relaxing. Moms need a break too. Playing the cello is how Mrs. Peter’s relaxes, and she does it with all her kids around her. I used to think I can only relax when it’s quiet and peaceful, but I have learned how to relax for a few minutes in a messy home with my kids all around me. Relaxing doesn’t always mean lying down. I find it relaxing to be out in my garden with my kids. Also, I can read a book and write with my kids around (there are quite a few interruptions though). It’s relaxing to take a walk with my kids. I hope I am making sense. You can find moments to recharge (in whatever way you like) even if you have a lot of kids right next to you. Of course, peace and quiet is also nice. I think moms who are introverted like me have to be aware of their limitations. I get tired if people talk to me all day long. And guess what little kids do? They talk all day long! Sometimes it’s the same conversation over and over again. Over the years I have gotten a lot better at being patient with the constant chatter. It doesn’t wear me out so much now. My mother-in-law watches my kids often. Sometimes she takes them for a walk, and when I come back home, the house is filled with daylight, empty, and quiet (I am used to the quiet at night). I enjoy it for a while, but at the same time, it also doesn’t feel natural. Don’t worry. My kids come tumbling in soon enough. And Mrs. Peters…. The book ends with the family finding a recipe that works for everyone. That must have been a relief to Mrs. Peters!. I really like one of the last pictures. Everyone is making the cake, and there’s Mrs. Peters,, relaxing and playing her cello with her favorite people all around her. You can tell that she’s a happy mom. I think that’s why I like her: She’s got a lot of kids, her house is a mess, and she’s happy. So, whether you have a lot of kids, or are homeschooling young children, enjoy the mess because years from now your house will be very clean….so hard to imagine. You might find yourself missing the messes. Speaking of messes, I have three laundry baskets waiting for me, a book to read aloud to my kids, and markers all over the floor (with the caps on). Off I
Homeschooling Young Children: Making Sacrifices
Some days it seems like the only time I get to sit down is when I read aloud to my children. Fortunately, most days aren’t like that. I normally sit down to eat, and I sit down to do a lesson. But there are those times when it feels like I am up and down helping someone every five seconds. It could be I am actually sitting down more than I realize I am. To some, I might sound like I am crazy. To others who are in my situation, homeschooling young children, I am sure you can understand why am I running from one thing to the next. Homeschooling is a wonderful thing to do, but it’s also a very hard job. And it’s also hard when all your children are young. They all need you for what seems like everything. While it can be a hard stage to be in, it’s also a really life-giving stage. It sounds like I am contradicting myself, but I’m not. Just keep reading. Whenever I am in a hard stage of life, I find that it’s good to stop and reflect. This past week I thought about how homeschooling young children means everyone in our family has moments when they have to make a sacrifice in order to care for someone else. Making Sacrifices No one in our family has a schedule that is perfectly catered towards them. It’s hard having nap times, and also wanting to get out and do older kid things. Despite the difficulties with having a “large” family (four kids doesn’t seem large, but I have been told we have a lot of kids. People at Costco always tell that every time I go), I think it’s good for our family to make sacrifices and give up what we want for the sake of someone else. My boys can’t go out and do as many fun homeschool field trips or activities because their younger siblings need naps. I can’t stay at church very long and talk because my one-year old is exhausted and crying. Sometimes we end up leaving an event because someone is melting down. We often skip church potlucks because it’s someone else’s turn to be tired. In our case, having little children limits what we can do. Despite all that, we are not always heading home every time someone is tired. It’s not always the older kids that make sacrifices. Other times, my younger ones are stretched to stay awake longer than they would like because their brothers have a sports practice or a game. My husband will take the fussy baby with him so I can talk to people. There’s no hard rule about whose turn it is to give up something. Rather, it’s based on what’s going on in each circumstance. Sacrifices Are Not in Vain Philippians 2:4 says, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” This verse has been helpful for me because it reminds me that the sacrifices my kids have to make for each other does not make the day worse because the fun ended early. I don’t have to feel guilty if they miss out. After all, it’s good training for real life. They are learning how to adjust and place someone else’s needs before themselves. My boys did a field day with their co-op last fall. October is a tricky month because the weather can fluctuate. Sometimes it’s nice, and sometimes it’s still hot. It was hot that day. I couldn’t keep their baby brother out in close to 100+ weather for very long. I felt bad leaving early because they wanted to stay. They were disappointed, but it was also an opportunity for them to recognize that their baby brother has needs too. In this case, his needs were more important than theirs. Homeschooling young children is hard, and missing out on activities can be challenging, but there’s always fruit with hard situations It’s harder to be patient, kind, and sacrificial with your family. Homeschooled siblings know each other so well. They know the most subtle ways to get under each other’s skin, but they get some of the best practice when they learn how to live peacefully with each other. My kids aren’t perfect. They have arguments for sure, but they are learning. When Sacrificing is Good For You My kids make sacrifices, but what about me? I give my energy and love to my children all day long. Sometimes I am worn out, but I found that when I give up my desires, such as reading in peace in quiet or having a uninterrupted conversation, and focus on caring well for my children, I am happier. There’s joy that comes from knowing I am doing a good job caring for my kids. While sacrificing what I want to do can be hard, it can also be the best thing for me because it deepens my love for my children and it makes depend on God more rather than being satisfied with getting what I think I need. One thing that has helped me have a better perspective on giving up my will, especially in the context of homeschooling young children, is to figure out what I lack (joy, patience, peace….) and then ask God for that. While that sounds very simple, it has been helpful because He does answer me. I am not a naturally patient person, but God has made me more patient. I regularly pray for patience and joy in parenting. Slowly, over time as I continue to homeschool all young children, I have become less dependent upon time alone and can tolerate more noise and mess. On a side note, I am someone who needs alone time, so I get the genuine need for it. I sometimes hide away and read for five minutes until someone finds me. Those five minutes can help! I am also someone who needs to talk to