Being a Student of Your Child

I love seeing cool ideas for homeschool lessons, or learning about new curricula that is on the market. I start imagining how fun it would be to do everything. But then reality returns. If I add on every new curriculum or fun field trip to our day, my children would not appreciate it. Through trial and error, I have learned to find a balance between seeing a cool idea and being a student of my child.

What Is Being a Student of Your Child?

Being a student of your child is studying your child and learning who they are. I know it sounds pretty basic. You are probably saying, “I know my kid!” What I mean is knowing them as a whole person – how they learn best, what helps them relax, what frustrates them, how do they calm down when frustrated, what awakens their mind, how do they think and perceive events in life, what sins do they struggle with, etc… Knowing who your child by seeing them in a variety of contexts over many years can give a parent insight into how homeschooling could look like for that child.

Studying my children has helped me ignore or toss out ideas that might be nice, but ultimately wouldn’t work great for my kids. It’s knowing my kids so well that I can easily predict how some event or an activity is going to go, and then calculating if it’s worth the effort. The result of studying my children has made homeschooling easier and enjoyable. It takes reflecting, thinking, and careful observation to know how my children like to learn, what helps them thrive, and being able to connect with them.

Asking Myself Questions

After I see a brand-new curriculum (one that looks way better than what I have) or a cool field trip we could go on, I ask myself questions: Can we afford that? Would my children like it? Would this help them learn? Will all, or most, of my kids benefit from this or that? Am I the one who wants to go on this field the most? (Does anyone else have that problem? Mom being more excited about a field trip than the kids?) Does this mess up a nap time? Are we busy in the morning as well? (A busy morning and afternoon are tough for us in this season) What are we doing the day before or the day after?

Running through relevant questions helps me figure out if an activity is going to make it in our school day. In the past, I have overbooked myself, and my children have never enjoyed that. I have found it helpful to say no to a lot, and say yes to a few things.

The downside is that we miss out on a lot, but it’s something I have gotten better at accepting since my family’s needs come first.

Knowing Your Child’s Strengths and Weaknesses

My children love to be at home. Often times when we go on a field trip, one of my kids almost always asks, “When will we go home?” Their strength isn’t going from one place to the next. 

Homeschoolers often post pictures of themselves out and about on field trips or traveling. They are out and about doing so many cool things. But what if your kids just want to stay home and read? Or make strange things out of cardboard and duct tape? Or make muffins with grandma and play with only one kid from church? I am describing the ultimate introvert here.

I have learned to let them be who they are. Yes, it’s good to push them out of their comfort zone (we do go on field trips, co-op class, church, sports practice), but not to the point where they are constantly exhausted and crabby. My kids’ strengths are what I call quiet learning. They don’t want to be out about all over the place all the time. Their world is small, and they like learning quietly. My kids aren’t going to be signed up for a thousand of activities or go to the park every day because they would hate it.

I have learned to be okay to give my children a small world where they can figure out who they are and know their strengths.

Knowing How They Learn

Everyone homeschools differently. I find it fascinating that so many different families can find a different way to go about schooling that works for them. Here are some things I have learned about how my children learn best.

• Morning is the best time for school. It hasn’t worked well for us to start a whole day of school after lunch. I know other people for whom this works well. 
• Field trips are only every now and then. 
• Giving practice time alone with a math concept. One of my kids prefers to try it out himself without me peering over his shoulder checking to see if it’s right.

• Pointing out a few errors on a page and then choosing to reteach skill another day. 
• I don’t read every classic book with my kids because I can predict which ones they will love and which ones they won’t. I also don’t feel bad if we read a highly recommended book and no one is enjoying it. I just stop reading it and find another.
• Charlotte Mason methods work well with my kids.

Knowing What Excites Them

Have you ever seen a spark in your kid’s eyes? I have! When one of my kids was four years old, he asked me what the moon was made of. I told him it was made out of rock. He stared at the moon for a good while in disbelief that a rock was floating over him. The idea of planets and rocks in outer space brought life to his mind. Whenever I plan our school, I leave time for him to find those topics of interest that keep his mind going. 

Here are some things that my kids really love to do:

• My kids love notebooking. We do it about once a week.

• One of my kids loves having spare time to draw maps. 

• Another kid likes to make things about of cardboard boxes.

• They like having people over for dinner. I used to be bad at inviting people over, but I have improved over the years. My kids get very excited when someone comes over.

• I leave play time. They are more relaxed when they have downtime.

Last Thoughts

It’s easy to google a homeschooling problem, find someone’s answer, and implement it….and then see how it didn’t actually work. Why? Usually when that happens to me, it’s because I forgot to think about who my kid is. Being a student of my child has lessened the wasted lessons. It’s also just makes me appreciate my kids more because I can see their strengths.

Homeschooling isn’t always following the curriculum perfectly, or doing lessons that look exactly like someone else’s. It’s first looking at your child and adapting their learning so it matches who they are.

Carly from DesertHomeschoolDays.com